As girls, we are often told that if a boy is mean to you, teases you, or straight up bullies you, it’s not because he’s a jerk. It’s because he likes you. Then as we grow older, we see romantic stories from books to movies and TV shows of the cool bad boy having a heart of gold who falls for the clumsy but gorgeous main character supposed to represent the everyday-girl.

It’s a toxic mentality most of us, as grown women, are unable to shake off even in our real relationships. I mean, just take a look at these 6 problematic fictional boyfriends a lot are crushing on (Seriously though, stop).

1. Christian Grey – Fifty Shades

BDSM can be a healthy relationship between two consenting adults. Christian Grey’s version though is not. He stalked the apple of his eye, planted trackers on her without consent. He tried to control her beyond the bedroom, forbid her from doing normal stuff, and manipulates her into agreeing to anything he liked.

Christian didn’t seem to want a partner judging by his actions. It seems as if what he really wants is a woman with no personality, a blank slate, who looks like his mom and whom he can treat like his own property.

2. Chuck Bass – Gossip Girl

Chuck Bass, yet another rich and privileged white male with abusive tendencies who was so absorbed with himself that he’s unable to feel empathetic to other people, even the woman he claims to love, Blair Waldorf (unfortunately, they end up marrying)

He’s cheated and betrayed her many times. He practically sold her off to his uncle too just to get his hotel back. If that’s not enough to turn you off, he became physical when he was rejected, going as far as to break a glass that cut Blair in the face.

3. Dan Humphrey – Gossip Girl

For a judgemental guy who claims to be “woke” in a world of shallow rich people in the upper east side, Dan sure is desperate to be part of their world. He stalked them, obsessed over Serena, and punished them for his inability to BE just like them. He enabled the drunken Serena when they were together and isolated Blair when he became interested in her.

He’s terrible to even without considering his alter-ego, Gossip Girl, which he used to stalk and harass others. How anyone could forgive him for all the terrible things he did is baffling.

4. Damon Salvatore – The Vampire Diaries

Not only is Damon blessed with a bad temper, but he’s also a strong vampire. So, when he’s frustrated with Elena, he goes out on a violent spree even she’s not safe from. He broke her hand before, tried to drown her in a lake, and did a lot of stupid things to hurt her.

It doesn’t stop there, however, because Damon is also very manipulative. He tricked Elena into becoming a vampire, against her wishes, and performing an intimate blood sharing ritual whilst she was still dating his brother. And if giving her sexy eyes doesn’t do the trick, he compels her to do what HE wants. The same way he compelled her best friend whom he seduced and mistreated several times. Did I also mention that h

5. Joe Goldberg – You

A stalker with an intense hero complex. Joe Goldberg doesn’t fall in love with the girl of his dreams. He falls in love with the idea of being a hero to a helpless woman he’s obsessed with. In his mind, he’s the good guy who does “EVERYTHING” for the betterment of his victim and gives them the best gift ever, himself.

If they don’t immediately fall for him? He steals their phone, stalks them, kills his competition, and apparently, locks them up and kill them too if things don’t work out. After that, he simply moves on and sets his eyes on a new damsel. That’s not romantic, just psychotic.

6. Ted Mosby – How I Met Your Mother

He’s supposed to be the main character but Ted is just so terrible. He’s immature, clingy, extremely mopey, and possessive, even of his friends. He disregarded the needs of Marshall and tried to break him and Lily up because he felt “singled out”. He broke up with a girlfriend through voicemail on her birthday, more than once. And even though he knows how hurtful it is because he’s been a victim of it, he convinced a bride to run away.

Ted is also self-centered that he fails to consider the feelings of his girlfriends. What’s even more annoying is he spent 7 seasons telling his children about his “conquests” and treated the Mother as a side note.

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